Devil’s Diary (2007) + The Gathering (2007) + The Haunting Of Sorority Row (2007) + Hush Little Baby (2007) + Still Small Voices (2006/Lifetime/E1 DVDs)

 

Picture: C     Sound: C+     Extras: D     Telefilms: C-

 

 

A long time ago in a better TV world far, far away, the major networks (even before cable TV!) knew how to make effective, interesting and even important Horror TV movies.  Telefilms like The Night Stalker, Satan’s School For Girls, The Night Strangler and the many adaptations by Dan Curtis of classics (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc.) were remarkable for their time and many hold up very well, even if some are unintentionally funny at times.

 

The latter is still better than making TV movies in the same genre and being stilly to start with.  So what happens when these bad productions will not stay buried?  If they have female leads, they land up becoming filler on the dreaded Lifetime Network, whose name suddenly becomes ironic when dealing with the living dead.  The following are the five goofy releases they and E1 have issued on DVD:

 

Devil’s Diary (2007, which could describe the TV listing for the actual network) has female teens messing with the wrong book of witchcraft and bringing Satan up from the depths to make their nightmares come true, though the biggest nightmare is how bad this no-name wreck turned out.  Oh, and they go to school in a small town, so if it gets wiped off the face of the earth (or sinks… somewhere), no one will hear them scream… or us laugh.

 

The Gathering (2007) has Peter Gallagher as a happy surgeon whose wife suddenly disappears and his daughter may be involved with a witches’ cult, but she is a teenager and you know how all teens get involved with covens (right Christine O’Donnell?)!  Peter Fonda shows up as the evil head of a dark corporation and Jamie-Lynn Sigler also stars.

 

The Haunting Of Sorority Row (2007) is a lesser entry into the “girls hiding something in their sorority” cycle (besides their sexy bodies) as a young lady ready to pledge to a sorority finds the prestigious one she has chosen may have a group that thinks they are the chosen… of Satan!  Less exciting than an old Maidenform Lady ad, you would think the death of one of the members would gain more attention and action than this, but guess the anti-Christ also works in his own mysterious ways.

 

Hush Little Baby (2007) is another “devil child” entry with a mother (Victoria Pratt) devastated that her first born drowned, then is more shocked that she is again pregnant despite al the efforts not to become otherwise.  The child arrives and everything seems fine.  It’s a girl… but is it evil?  You know we are in trouble when digital babies show up, people die.

 

Still Small Voices (2006) rounds out the gaff-fest as another female lead (Catherine Bell from Army Wives) being traumatized and when she gets a mysterious call, it is (yes, believe it or not) connected to another drowning (what are they doing at that network anyway?) and she was a 911 operator!  Now, she must track down a missing girl and play detective, but she might find out more than she bargains for.  It is the least silly be default of all these DVDs, but it is just as bad.

 

The 1.33 X 1 image throughout (Gathering is letterboxed 1.78 X 1) is also bad, soft and except for Diary looking a little better, the visuals are always cheap and second rate.  The Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo can be weak, though it is harsh as well, especially on Diary.  The combination of factors offers presentations that are trying and never engrossing in the least.  There are no extras on any of the titles either.

 

 

-   Nicholas Sheffo