Chain Letter + Harpoon Wars: Whale Watching Massacre (2009/2010 Image
Blu-rays)
Picture: C Sound: C
Extras: C- Films: C
Harpoon Wars: Whale Watching Massacre and Chain Letter both raise
the question of why it seems to be so difficult for the filmmakers of today to
make a decent horror film. Neither of
these films ever tries much of anything new. Instead, they seem to
operate on the thought that by throwing everything that has already been tested
in another movie, including the kitchen sink, is the logical solution.
Changing the setting of the events to something untried seems to be about as
far out on a limb as they are willing to go. As an example, Harpoon Wars concerns a
crazed family run amok, killing those who have entered their domain, only here
the usual locale of a desert or forest has been swapped for the isolation that
a rusted out barge provides. To ramp up
the terror, they even throw an attack by killer whale into the mix. None of it works, and it turns something with
at least a hint of potential into another clunker of a film in an endless ocean
of bad horror flicks.
Chain Letter is another example of this seemingly contagious lack of
originality in horror. As the box so
proudly advertises, the film is just another knockoff of the already boneheaded
Final Destination series, except his one featuring a chain e-mail that
users pass along to one another, or face the dire consequences. Other horror films from the late '90s have
worked this premise to death already, and that we are still seeing imitators at
this point is shocking.
Each film features an appearance by a different legend of horror - Brad Dourif
is here in Chain Letter, while Gunnar Hansen has a small role in Harpoon
as a boat captain. Their roles provide
little for them to do, and it is a shame that they are largely just being
exploited so that their names can be used on the cover art to lure in
unsuspecting fanatics. It's an old
tactic, but perhaps one that we should look into dropping in favor of actually
giving these great character actors some meatier roles.
Strangely, releases or these types of horror films are usually buoyed by a
wealth of special features. Not so,
here, as the only bonuses on Harpoon are a trailer and a poorly recorded
behind the scenes featurette with new interview footage of Gunnar Hansen. Mercifully, there are no special features at
all for Chain Letter, but I am doubtful that anyone had much to say
about it, as I'm sure this was no labor of love for anyone involved.
All the usual complaints apply - washed out image quality, sub-par sound
recording. Whatever aesthetic has been gone for here, it does no favors for the
films. The picture for both is presented
in 1080p anamorphic widescreen, with an aspect of 2.35:1 on Harpoon,
while Chain Letter is shown with a 1.78:1 aspect ratio. Sound on both
films is adequate, with DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio tracks for each of the two
films.
Of the two films, I would certainly say that there is more merit to be found in
Harpoon, as it at least seems to have been something that the filmmakers
are proud of, and it shows in the final product. Despite my dislike of the film, if you
happened to be looking at adding either of these to your library of Blu-ray
discs, that would be the clear cut winner in this particular race.
- David Milchick
