(2012/MVD DVD)/Earth’s Final Hours
(2011/Anchor Bay Blu-ray)/G-String
Horror (2012/Apprehensive DVD)/Iron
(2012/MVD DVDs)/Tormented 3D
(2011/Well Go USA
Blu-ray 3D w/Blu-ray 2D)
Picture: B- 2D Picture: C/B-/C/C/C/C+ Sound: C/B-/C/C/C/B- Extras: D/D/D/D/C-/C- Main Programs: D/C-/D/D/D/C-
more Horror releases that show the low end of the genre…
Jarmen’s Bad Meat (2012) combines
the usual horror, slasher, torture porn formula with a Hunger Games/Battle Royale
about disposable youth being sent off to what might seem like a boot camp but
leans more towards something akin to an extermination/terror camp. However, it is so badly done and so sloppy
that the title should refer to the condition of the rancid screenplay that is
self-amused, deals with things it only thinks and knows it is dealing with and
is just a total mess.
Pellegrino (the overrated Supernatural),
Elisabeth Harnois (CSI) and even a
brief Dave Franco (the 21 Jump Street
revival) turn up, but this total waste of time is embarrassingly bad and is
enough to make big game hunters vegetarians.
A trailer is the only extras and it is lame too.
Hogan’s Earth’s Final Hours (2011)
would seem a step up, being a TV Movie about natural catastrophe, but not by
much as the coming “radiation storm” starts to have a mind of its own, people
start getting zapped to death (beams through their bodies) and some much worse
is on the way… like this telefilm. We
get another Supernatural alumni in
Julie Maxwell, but the one name star here is Bruce Davidson (Willard, et al) and even he cannot make
this silly mess more interesting.
this had some potential, but it is slap happy with its lame digital visual
effects and even with some money to play with, is empty of new ideas resulting
in this one going nowhere. Be awake and
not operating heavy equipment when viewing.
Webb’s G-String Horror (2012) is a
long 72 minutes and is part of another lame, sad, pathetic trend in the Horror
genre: add sex, nudity and XXX porn explicitly when you have no ideas and when
you are trying to be funny and/or “realistic” making this an amazing mess that
one never believes as a Horror film is being shot in a century-old San
Francisco movie house built by Sid Grauman of Grauman’s Chinese Theater fame,
but this one is haunted and so, everyone might just die making their film. Could it be that the script is so bad, the
building was never haunted and suddenly it is?
sloppy mess, only the makers have any idea what they think they are showing,
because this is just laughably bad, with any laughs being incidental as this is
never truly funny or anything else worth your time. Four weak, sloppy featurettes are the only extras.
Mandel’s Iron Doors (2012) is the
latest stuck-in-a story, this one with a guy who needs to open a bank vault to
escape, but to where? How did he get
there? Should we care? It gets dumber when he turns out to be
inexplicably not alone and the overacting of the “pain” of being trapped has
been done better before and oh, the character is a banker. There is no social statement here either,
especially with the goofy ending.
McCormick’s Repligator (2012) is a
silly creature feature too silly for its own good, co-starring Gunnar Hansen
and wants to combine bad 1980s science fiction comedies with nudity and
nonsense. Some might find the retro
aspect of this amusing for a second, but it is an all-over-the-place mess and all
are just too self-amused throughout.
This also looks cheaper than its cheap intents should allow it too.
get an on-camera director interview with some intelligence and Making Of
featurette, but they are very weak.
we have Takashi Shimizu’s Tormented 3D
(2011), a poor spin-off sequel of sorts to the overrated Shock Labyrinth 3D feature we reviewed on Blu-ray 3D at this link:
had directed the original Grudge and
that included a really overrated cycle of Japanese horror that included the
U.S. remake, The Ring and The Eye, most of which you’ll find
reviewed elsewhere on this site. At this
point, all is so repetitious, barely suspenseful and not chilling that it plays
like an installment of Scary Movie, even having one expecting any member of the
Wayans Family to join the unknown Japanese cast.
antagonists go to a 3D movie and get dragged into its world, so that gives the
makers an opportunity to do something with that idea and they do not. Guess they never saw Sherlock, Jr. or anything else inspirational. So if nothing else, the 3D should be the
highlight of this dud and it plays a little better than the 2D version. However, both have flaws, limits and are
sloppy, with some of the 3D unaligned and the 2D looking degraded too often in
its own way.
Seeing Shock Labyrinth 3D might help some
viewers enjoy/understand all this, but for me, it was a blur of stuffed
rabbits, people in giant rabbit outfits and actors who looked beyond
clueless. I guess we could say for fans
only, but that would be really stretching it.
A trailer is the only extra.
X 1, 1080p full HD MVC-encoded 3-D – Full Resolution digital High Definition
image on Tormented and 1080p 1.78 X
1 digital High Definition image on Final
are the best performers on the list by default, but they have their share
of flaws and certainly no demo moments.
The 2D AVC HD image on Tormented
is even worse with more flaws and save some color, might as well have been a
DVD. The anamorphically enhanced 1.78 X
1 image on the DVDs are very badly shot, have video noise, are weak digital
shoots and are not lensed by professional who know what they are doing.
DTS-HD MA (Master Audio) 5.1 lossless mix on Tormented is towards the front speakers and has an awkward, limited
soundfield throughout as if they mixers were trying for something fancy and
supernatural and landed up with everything lopsided, possibly trying to match
the problematic 3D. The Dolby TrueHD 5.1
on Final is just as bad, but its
issues are a combination of lack of soundfield and problematic dialogue mixing
into the soundfield throughout and it might not be because of the was recorded,
but we’ll never know. The lossy Dolby
Digital mixes on the DVDs are simple stereo at best, badly recorded and mixed,
plus some audio is so bad (especially location audio badly miked) that it is
- Nicholas Sheffo