Moto X Kids (Pan & Scan)
Picture: C
Sound: B- Extras: D Film: C-
Are they cutting edge or just corny? We happily choose the latter with Moto X
Kids (2004,) a strange, pointless, tired, pseudo hip kids action comedy
with little action. Young teens are
joined by pre-teens as Lorenzo Lamas stars as the best biking coach in the
world. His daughter wants to get into
the boy’s world and some mean bikers (Gary Busey and Evan Marriott) want to
stop them and close a local bike track.
What were people thinking? How did this get greenlighted?
Will young Alana Austin and Josh Hutcherson be the stars of
tomorrow? Not on this. A somewhat interesting port is rendered
idiotic by this film, which Fox is releasing pan and scan only, showing even
they know how silly this is. The
picture quality is awful and washed out, especially by today’s standards. The Dolby Digital 5.1 mix is poor, feeling
like Pro Logic surround and like the soundfield was butchered by the panning
and scanning so it would match the film!
The final problem is the greatest sign of desperation, the
addition of “that funny chimpanzee” that is a tired cliché from eons ago. There are no extras on the film and the
chimp is one extra in the film we did not need. Only the most extremely curious should apply.
- Nicholas Sheffo
