Scooby Doo – The Movie (2003/Blu-ray)
Picture:
B Sound: B Extras: C- Film: D
There
used to be a time when movie adaptations of material from another medium
(besides books) were at least ambitious and tried to deliver something more
instead of being a joke and disaster.
Since the 1990s, the idea of such franchise expansion is to make the
worst possible product, usually deconstructing it idiotically. With the Horror genre in such disarray, a
film version of Scooby Doo could have been clever family-friendly mockery of
all stupid such films. Thanks to hack
writers James Gunn and Craig Titley, Scooby
Doo – The Movie (2003) is one of the most heartless adaptations of all and
this unnecessary gutting was a hit at the expense of a series that could have
thrived.
Instead
of picking up where the original series left off and ignoring the Scrappy
Doo-era, the producers decided to cast that non-acting, irritating “trilogy of
terror” known as Freddie Prinze, Jr., Sarah Michelle Gellar (only good when she
is killing other monsters, covering up her monstrous limits on any screen) and
Matthew Lillard as Fred, Daphne and Shaggy disrespectively. Lillard as Shaggy alone kills any fun
connection to the 1960s the character had and makes Casey Kasem’s original voicing
seem like Darren McGavin or Clive Owen by comparison.
After the
crew has broken up, they are invited to the same haunted island unbeknownst to
each other to solve a new mystery. It
should be noted at this point that this is a total rip-off of Neil Simon’s
ingenious Murder By Death, made into
a grossly underrated comedy in 1976 with a superior cast playing send-ups of
fictions greatest detectives at the time.
If cast well, this could have been a clever tribute to that work. Instead, it is a bastardized insult and
changing it to an island is useless.
They
arrive and it is also the location of a popular spring break destination. Unfortunately for them, this might be their
final destination. For us, the script is
clueless to know what a destination is.
They have even brought Velma (Linda Cardellini) who becomes the object
of lesbian homophobia and we get a digital Scooby Doo who looks more like a
hound from hell who wines often.
Instead
of a fun film that the Spielberg-produced Flintstones
was sometimes capable of being, this film just wants to mock, degrade and
butcher the character sand audience for some of the cheapest non-laughs in
recent memory, becoming a hit by celebrated ugliness after celebrated
ugliness. The conclusion is so absurd
that it shows the total bankruptness of this whole enterprise and they still
managed to squeeze out a sequel before the cast gets too old, as they already
were in the roles here. Even Rowan
Atkinson cannot save this mess, though he likely was cast to help with the
foreign grosses, so cynically prefabricated this mess is. More than a few critics said “Scooby-don’t”
and it bears repeating because it is so true.
The 1080p
1.85 X 1 digital High Definition image is sharper and clearer than expected,
yet the digital effects and especially digital Scooby look old, dated and
dumb. Unlike the terrific original
drawings for the classic TV show, this Scooby looks like a sappy, happy inbred
digital pit-bull. Color can be good, but
is always undermined by digital color or shortsightedness in no knowing whether
to be a cartoon or film. The Dolby
Digital 5.1 mix at Plus levels is jumpy and dippy as such children-aimed
productions are, leaving David Newman’s score with few places to go. Extras include additional scenes, two
torturous audio commentary tracks, five featurettes, the trailer and a Music
Video by Outkast for their Land Of A Million Drums contribution to the
soundtrack of the film.
Well, at
least they you can’t go wrong with Outkast.
Stick with the original cartoons or see Outkast in Idlewild instead.
- Nicholas Sheffo
