Underworld – Unrated (Blu-ray)
Picture: B+
Sound: B+ Extras: D Film: D
As noted several times before, the Underworld franchise is one of the dumbest, worst, silliest and
most derivative of all. Even after this
first film did not do well at all, a sequel was made (which hardly did any
better) and a third film is threatened.
Now, after the sequel (unreviewed) arrived on Blu-ray, Sony has issued
the original 2003 film in the format a
fellow critic here on the site rightly dubbed “the most colorless color film
ever made” and more can be said.
Obviously trying to imitate the look of The Matrix films (see the HD-DVD review
elsewhere on this site), I recently was challenged by a friend about a comment
I made on these films from my Blu-ray coverage of the equally inept Blood & Chocolate where I stated:
“Matrix wanna be Underworld offered a secret world where vampires and werewolves are
at war and pull out the heavy gun artillery to try and shoot each other to
death, though none of them seem to remember that bullets do not work on
vampires and werewolves!”
It was
re-pointed out to me that the bullets were especially designed (and filled with
whatever they needed to be filled with) to get rid of the given monsters. I responded that if that were the case and
made things to easy, why did they need to do two films and counting? Because even with special bullets, you know
and I know the monsters STILL will die easily.
In a much better and smarter franchise (most are) like the Wesley Snipes
Blade films, such devices would actually work, permanently get rid of
supernatural killers and the storyline would move on. It proves what a rip-off the Underworld films have been.
Kate
Beckinsale, Scott Speedman, Bill Nighy and anyone suckered into watching this mess are
among the persons whose time and talents are being wasted by director Len
Wiseman’s tired werewolf vs. vampire soap opera with gunfire sequences of very
tired conception punctuating the boredom with loud boredom. Seems the two supernatural sides have become
the Hatfields and McCoys in their world that “humans” never can see or find,
unless those humans have to sit through this dumb film.
The
digital effects were dated upon arrival and really look bad now. The Danny McBride screenplay is a mess and
all the actors involved deserve much better.
So what was it like seeing this on DVD four years after its disastrous
theatrical release?
Well, the 1080p 2.35 X 1 digital High Definition image is so clean,
clear and vivid, it recreated how dull, dark, depressing and pointlessly
decolorized the 35mm print was. It
re-reminded me how bad a film can look when you remove all of the color from
the print with absolutely, positively no point.
The cinematography is by master Director of Photography Tony Pierce-Roberts,
B.S.C, which probably looked good before it the color was digitally cleansed
out of every single frame. You would
never know this was the master cameraman who delivered the superior work on
great films like The Remains Of The Day,
but it is. Hope he got paid well. These images, especially without the sound,
could save thousands from becoming addicted to sleeping pills.
The film was originally issued at its best in a 7.1 SDDS
(Sony Dynamic Digital Sound) mix that did not help it at the box office and was
intended as one of the more aggressive mixes to that point, but it is no match
for the similar films in the genre and is too bombastic too often to have a mix
with any character. The mix is here in a
PCM 16/48 5.1 mix that is not bad and sonically able, yet seems like it is
trying too hard as compared to the Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mixes on The Matrix films on HD-DVD as the most
immediate and obvious comparison. Paul
Haslinger’s score is nothing new either.
The combination is very good for the format, but not a great
experience. Extras include outtakes, Fang vs. Fiction documentary, seven featurettes,
a Music Video, storyboard comparison and director/cast audio commentary that
drags on as much as the film.
Wiseman directed the 4th Die Hard film recently, where the color was gutted out at the last
minute and box office suffered as a result.
Underworld set a new low standard of color gutting of films and the
bad influence is as awful as ever. Hope
the franchise is done.
- Nicholas Sheffo
