Return To House On Haunted Hill (HD-DVD + DVD-Video)
Picture:
B/C+ Sound: B Extras: C Film: C
William
Castle was a great showman and when he made the original House On Haunted Hill in 1958, he was having more fun with the
Horror genre than anyone had since Abbott and Costello joined up with the
Universal Studio Monsters. Over four
decades later, that one film (with “Emergo”) has become a dumb franchise that
is all about people being dismembered and slaughtered. I doubt he would have approved. The 1999 remake did little business, but
Warner’s new straight-to-video Premiere division has decided to issue a sequel
eight years later.
Return To House On Haunted Hill (2007) has been issued in a
single linear version on standard DVD-Video and an ill-advised
multiple-possibilities version on HD-DVD (and Blu-ray, not reviewed here) that
may have more money in it than expected, but is just as dumb and pointless as
any other slop job of its ilk, definitely with enough mindlessness and gore to
qualify in the “torture porn” cycle and just as tired and degrading. Except for Erik Palladino, who are these
people? Well, if you don’t know them,
you don’t have to care how they are butchered.
The HD
says the choices give you “96 different storylines” and remarkably, they are
all equally bankrupt of originality, heart, soul or suspense. You would have more fun hanging a plastic
skeleton on a string in your house and pushing it all over the place. This is a dud with some curiosity interest
(at least in HD) and not much else. It’s
81 minutes go on and on. Skip it!
The 1080p
2.35 X 1 digital High Definition image on the HD-DVD is better than the
anamorphically enhanced DVD, but both are weak, look shot on HD of some sort
with tired motion blur and the digital effects are boring. The early videogame Blip could have provoked
more terror than anything here. The
Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 on the HD and standard Dolby 5.1 on the DVD are new,
clean, clear recordings, but surrounds are oddly limited for some stupid reason
and this is a mix more interested in loud punctuation than presentation. Extras (besides the HD interactivity) include
a Music Video, two featurettes and additional scenes that are as lame as any of
the other material.
- Nicholas Sheffo
