Halloween – Unrated Director’s Cut: Two Disc
Special Edition
(2007/Genius-Weinstein/DVD Set/Rob Zombie)
Picture:
B- Sound: B- Extras: D Film: D
What did they do?
What do they have here?
What did he…
They had to do that too?
What’s the point?
When the
original Halloween arrived, it was
as much of a surprise as anything, a big independent hit with so many surprises
and clever manipulations inside it that because of the vision of John Carpenter
and the great amount of suspense the film offered, it set new trends and
expectations for the Horror genre. It
yielded endless imitators, sequels (the first of which was not bad) and
carpenter was set for life as a filmmaker.
So nearly
30 years later, with so many bad sequels and the like behind us, the
not-so-bright idea was to remake the classic and it is not even that old. Then, to have singer-turned-bad-director Rob
Zombie rewrite and helm the project seemed like a very big mistake. Never could we have imagined just how bad.
For one
thing, it just has to have an extended origins sequence (about 22 minutes
before we see “him” with his classic mask) that seems more inspired by
Superhero film than Horror flicks, though the even slightly worse Black Christmas remake did the same
thing with equally, remarkably similar results of pointlessness. Here, the acting is really, really, really
bad and is almost comical in its attempt to be psychological and portray the
rough life of the poor. Zombie obviously
has had too much money for too long, long forgetting how ugly and awful hard
times can get.
When the
film finally kicks in, in another embarrassing sequence where Mike Myers (only
known as “The Shape” in the original, another mistake here to name him so soon)
escapes from the most poorly built mental institute in cinema history. Like the film, it goes on and on and on, and
he has not escaped yet!
Then
after avoiding it for a half-hour, he finally is confronted with remaking the
Carpenter original. This is when it even
gets worse. Zero suspense, predictability
beyond belief and an actor as the killer so tall that it ruins most
possibilities of good composition, the film also manages to waste Malcolm
McDowell more than Caligula (reviewed elsewhere on this site) did (an
achievement in bad cinema if there ever was one) and Brad Dourif’s casting is
so throw-away that it sums up the instantly disposable nature of this mess.
You will
hear the usual, tired defenses of this film, like the idea that critics were
prepared to dislike it in advance. That
is an embarrassing defense and even as compared to the worst sequel, this is
even worse than any of them. Let’s be
honest. Zombie remade this to say he
did, cut his name into Horror history where it does not belong and is a huge
mistake. Right now, there are several
artists in film and music who think because they are there, they are entitled
to squat genres and their famous works, no mater what and by doing this, it
somehow makes them great or shows them as talented.
In
reality, it is about ego, insecurity, a huge lack of talent and the ruining of
cinema and music as we known it. Give it
five to ten years and everyone will realize what a bunch of tragically hip
shysters are out there and how condescending they are towards their
audience. Fortunately, most people would
not be their suckers and this plummeted from the box office quickly. We can only hope the same for future sales.
The
anamorphically enhanced 2.35 X 1 image is cleaner than expected, especially
after Zombie’s declaration of intending to mutilate and dirty up the frames
more. Guess the Weinsteins stopped him
from that additional mistake. In the
best shots, color and depth are good, while attempts to make the images black
& white or look dated by he and cinematographer Phil Parmet are laughable. Shot in Super 35mm, it is as generic as the Black Christmas remake and is no match
for the use of real Panavision scope on the 1978 original at all moments. The Dolby Digital 5.1 is pumped up,
aggressive and has none of the character the original film had in monophonic
sound. I would even take the 5.1
upgrades on DVD (Dolby) and Blu-ray (PCM) over this mess. The “update” of Carpenter’s music is awful
and overuse of hit records never fit.
Extras
include a Zombie audio commentary on the first DVD, with DVD 2 adding the
trailer, bloopers, casting sessions, meet the cast piece, deleted scenes with
optional commentary & no point, alternate ending and two other useless
featurettes. You can even try the new
online videogame free at http://slasher.halloween-themovie.com/
It could
not be less exciting than this dud.
Chalk up another classic gutted!
For more
on the Halloween films, try these links:
Halloween 2007 Theatrical Film
Review
http://www.fulvuedrive-in.com/review/5906/Halloween+(2007/Theatrical+Film
Halloween 1978 Blu-ray
http://www.fulvuedrive-in.com/review/6153/Halloween+(1978/Blu-ray)
Halloween 25th
Anniversary DVD (1978)
http://www.fulvuedrive-in.com/review/317/Halloween+(Divimax+Ed.)
Halloween – 25 Years Of Terror + 4
& 5 Sequels
http://www.fulvuedrive-in.com/review/4154/Three+Halloween+Series+DVD
- Nicholas Sheffo
