Goldilocks
& The Three Bears [Show] (2008/Jim Henson Unstable Fables/Genius DVD)
Picture: C+ Sound: C+ Extras: D Feature: D
The recent series of Unstable
Fables from The Jim Henson Company have been mildly amusing at best, but Goldilocks & The Three Bears [Show]
(it has two titles, it seems) is the first outright dud in the series to date,
with Jamie Lee Spears as the world’s first smart-alec, wise-cracking Goldilocks
and three bears that ought to be extinct.
Set in the modern time, in a city that is in decline and with not one
smile (let alone joke) in the whole train wreck, the 78 minutes here go on and
on (Brooke Shields cannot save this; Tom Arnold only makes it worse) in this
pointless retread.
We will not even refer to the
attempts to be hip (or Hip Hop for that matter) and even your children will be
running for their Looney Tunes DVDs
looking for how to send these things up much better. This is the worst thing I have ever sent he
Henson name on and the nadir of the company.
Ugh!
The anamorphically enhanced 1.78 X
1 image is on the soft side with semi-colorless CG animation that is not that
good and is no improvement (major, minor or otherwise) from the previous
volumes. The Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo is
fair at best with the new recording flat and unmemorable, saying nothing about
the music. The combination is poor and
the real Jim Henson would have sent this back to the drawing board. Extras (yawn) include a making of featurette
and A Lesson On How To Draw A Character.
-
Nicholas Sheffo
