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Category:    Home > Reviews > Horror > Monster > Vampire > Zombie > The Horde/The Zombie Farm/Stripperland/The Bleeding (2009 2011/IFC/Maya/Cheezy Flicks/Anchor Bay DVDs)

The Horde/The Zombie Farm/Stripperland/The Bleeding (2009 2011/IFC/Maya/Cheezy Flicks/Anchor Bay DVDs)

 

Picture: B/B-/C-/B Sound: B/C/C-/B Extras: C/C+/B-/C- Films: C+/C-/D/C-

 

 

Vampires and zombies have gone hand in hand over the last several years. Both genres are quickly on their way out, lumbering along toward irrelevancy. Whatever they harnessed to gain such profile attention is beaten to a pulp here, and hopefully these and movies like them mark the last gasp of the mass cash-in we've seen.

 

The Horde is advertised as being something for fans of 28 Days Later and the remake of Dawn of the Dead, but there's just no fun in this zombies-meets-Assault on Precinct 13 mashup. You could do far worse than this French import, but it lacks a solid foundation or a skillful build to the terror. It's watchable, but there are still better examples of zombie movies out there... watch this one if you've already exhausted the options from the big boys in town.

 

The Zombie Farm reaches back to the true origins of the zombie genre, featuring humans under the control of a voodoo priestess, rather than being members of the undead. Steering away from now conventional reasons for zombification (chemicals, viruses, space activity, etc.) is refreshing, but this still amounts to a dud of a movie. It putters around for most of its runtime without anything happening except some boring back story for the female lead and some half-assed attempts at comedy. A little different from the norm, but still not worth most people's time, and being so light on horror, it's definitely not something you'd get to provide the scares at your Halloween bash.

 

We have a most unusual specimen in Stripperland... a parody of Zombieland, a film that didn't take itself too seriously in the first place. I guess you can compare the situation to being like what Scary Movie was to the Scream franchise, but Zombieland wears its comedy on its sleeve much more than any of the Scream films ever did; so the decision to make this movie becomes especially awkward when you consider that it's basically the same movie, just taken into R-rated territory. Everything from the stylization of the title sequence to the Jesse Eisenberg-esque narration has been transplanted here, with the only real differences being that the zombies are strippers and the jokes aren't funny. Skip it.

 

Lastly we get to a little bit of vampire action courtesy of The Bleeding. A quasi-recognizable cast has been assembled for this turd, but that just serves as proof of how far their respective careers have fallen, or not gotten a proper start, rather than give a boost to production values. The lead does his best Vin Diesel impersonation in this Blade inspired horror action film. He spends the movie waging war on an army of vampires that have killed his family. Just like most other new horror, this film is a boring and uninspired insult to viewers of today.

 

The Horde and The Bleeding are both presented in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen, The Zombie Farm in 1.77:1, and no aspect ratio is given for Stripperland. The quality of the video mostly hovers around average for each of the films, with the worst example easily being Stripperland. Audio is similarly about average, again with Stripperland falling behind the others in quality. Each film is presented with a 5.1 Dolby surround sound mix.

 

Extras are relatively standard, with the only commentary track being included on Stripperland. The loser here is The Zombie Farm, which features only a behind the scenes featurette, while the rest all have trailers and interviews on top of that, and The Horde even featuring some storyboards.

 

I'd say that you could easily skip any of these films and not lose sleep over it. There aren't many redemptive qualities here, and the greatest scare they offer is the chance that you might be bored to death.

 

 

- David Milchick


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